September Challenges
Autumn has always been my favourite season. 🍂 The crisp air, the abundance of fruit, the golden sunsets and the stunning colours all around — it’s a time of beauty and change.
And yet, for so many years, I dreaded September.
For me, September meant loss.
The First Goodbye
I was fortunate not to experience death until my teenage years. My mum’s dear friend Maureen passed away from cancer, and I remember coming home after the funeral to see a single poppy in our garden. There had never been a poppy there before.
My mum said, “That’s Maureen.”
At the time, I didn’t understand what she meant. Now, I know it was a sign.
Loss Upon Loss
Fast forward to 1999. I was delighted to be expecting my second child — a baby I knew would complete our little family.
But on the 4th of September, I knew something wasn’t right. I sent my husband and son out shopping, and before long I was in excruciating pain. My father-in-law drove me to the hospital, not even knowing until that moment that I was pregnant.
There, I miscarried. The devastation was overwhelming.
Strange images still linger in my memory — like the young nurse who urged me to wash out my blood-stained clothes. She didn’t seem to understand that they weren’t just clothes; they were a painful reminder of the child I had just lost.
Back then, women who miscarried were taken to the maternity ward. Hearing the cries of newborn babies made the grief even harder to bear.
And then, just days later, more heartbreak came. My mum phoned to tell me that my gran had died in her sleep.
I was her first granddaughter — and her favourite. She lived in the high-rise flats of Glasgow, where we would share chocolate late at night, listening to the wind howl or partygoers sing on their way home. Losing her so soon after my baby broke me in ways I couldn’t put into words.
The only comfort I could find was believing that Gran knew the pain I was in and went to look after my baby. I never told anyone at the time, but it’s what kept me going.
More September Losses
Life carried on. I returned to teaching and poured my energy into caring for my son, later being blessed with three more beautiful children.
But still, I dreaded September.
In 2018, we celebrated my dad’s 70th birthday — a rare moment when all the family gathered together. Just a few years later, in September 2021, my dad passed away at only 73. He had battled vascular dementia, Alzheimer’s, and diabetes.
I spent his last day with him, holding his hand, sharing Reiki, and simply being present. Even then, he found a way to make me smile. As the carers tried to check his mouth, one joked about his “great teeth.” My dad, who hated the dentist, would have loved the humour in that moment. It was so him.
Messages from Spirit
Since his passing, my spiritual practice has deepened. Dad has popped in during workshops — I’ve felt him holding my hand, and once he even gave me a vision of some rather scary teeth. That was his sense of humour shining through again.
Gran has visited many times too. She was one of the first to reach out to me during self-Reiki, delivering a message so clear it startled me. At first, I thought I was imagining it. But then I heard her voice: “You need to listen to her, she is telling the truth.”
My Reiki Master confirmed that spiritual connections like this often happen as your practice deepens. And sure enough, the message I received was proven true many years later.
Kyle Gray’s book “Angels Are With You Now” brought me even more comfort. During one meditation, I saw the most beautiful vision — my gran’s hand holding a baby’s hand. Finally, the confirmation of what I had always believed: that she was looking after my child in spirit.
From Grief to Gratitude
Today, I no longer dread September. Instead, I embrace it.
Yes, it carries memories of loss, but it also brings the beauty of autumn and the reminder of all the love that has touched my life. This year, I’ll be visiting family in England and celebrating my husband’s birthday. I have Reiki, my crystals — especially my Apache Tear for comfort — and, most importantly, a mindset shift from grief to gratitude (thank you, Catriona White, for those words).
I was blessed with a loving gran, a goofy dad who made me laugh, and a little soul who, even in loss, gave me wisdom to support others walking the same path.
Now, I celebrate September. I count my blessings for every single day I get to share with the wonderful people still here. 🍂💫
✨ If you’ve ever experienced loss, know this: you are not alone. Healing takes time, but connection — both here and beyond — can bring unexpected comfort.
Feel free to share your experience.
September, a Month I Dreaded… Until Now